I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
