please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
