And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
