jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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