mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
