ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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