Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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