all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
