i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
