meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
