wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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