there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
