I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize