I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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