Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The uberlube is also flammable
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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