dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
there is puke in my bra ... again
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
