12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
