Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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