1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Randomize
