remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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