i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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