I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
