dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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