White coat. Heels.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I can't put those talents on a resume
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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