KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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