dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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