Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she told me i tasted like america
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize