People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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