And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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