And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm both gender and math confused
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
