Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I need moral support for this bender
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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