It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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