And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Watching her eat just hurts me
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
