HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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