He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
