Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
