whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
