you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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