Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
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Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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