Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
