Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
