I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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