yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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