I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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