the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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