Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize