What did we do last night that was yellow?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
