Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
