Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So much Jack, so little girl.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
