I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize