In the future we'll all be gay
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
