I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
