If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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