Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low