she was so not down for the gang bang
Jerry, you need to find god
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
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YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
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He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween