So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA