Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.

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  (850): So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/g8du
  Replies (8) Good night (747) Bad night (2587)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  yes

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?

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  (601): ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest? (1-601): yes (601): did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me? http://tfl.nu/1ahx
  Replies (13) Good night (4751) Bad night (808)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them

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  (412): I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them http://tfl.nu/s8n3
  Replies (30) Good night (5278) Bad night (1569) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.

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  (704): I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better. http://tfl.nu/5ydt
  Replies (15) Good night (3064) Bad night (652) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?

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  (239): I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise? http://tfl.nu/0r1q
  Replies (25) Good night (6875) Bad night (971) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night

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  (270): It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night http://tfl.nu/y9wt
  Replies (19) Good night (3836) Bad night (1105) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...

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  (440): i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night... http://tfl.nu/6z7m
  Replies (2) Good night (3089) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.

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  (203): Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot. http://tfl.nu/4t9j
  Replies (2) Good night (1943) Bad night (994) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.

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  (217): I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it. http://tfl.nu/a4xo
  Replies (9) Good night (912) Bad night (1738) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.

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  (619): Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit. http://tfl.nu/5rch
  Replies (17) Good night (898) Bad night (3134) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.

  (315): View more from New York

  hahahaha slap the bag.

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  (315): mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table. (315): hahahaha slap the bag. http://tfl.nu/tktw
  Replies (2) Good night (1405) Bad night (619)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.

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  (940): you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can. http://tfl.nu/3ex5
  Replies (7) Good night (788) Bad night (871) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.

  (415): View more from California

  That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.

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  (310): It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter. (415): That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere. http://tfl.nu/8y5r
  Replies (11) Good night (1800) Bad night (394)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.

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  (817): Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud. http://tfl.nu/pgi9
  Replies (20) Good night (2453) Bad night (463) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams

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  (724): I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams http://tfl.nu/vjrr
  Replies (2) Good night (528) Bad night (302) Order T-Shirt

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