dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
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i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
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Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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